Brittany's Profile

Writers: Brittany Morrow

  • Romanie Brooke

    Good start, but needs work

    Yellow_star-c09e82bff6cf53398cc23ca904d3855a Yellow_star-c09e82bff6cf53398cc23ca904d3855a Yellow_star-c09e82bff6cf53398cc23ca904d3855a Empty_star-e60c0e83933eadeb47c8849bb808f2e6 Empty_star-e60c0e83933eadeb47c8849bb808f2e6

    A good start to what appears to be an interesting storyline.The characters come across well and the dialogue is believable. If I might suggest the author looks at it with a view to another edit, as this is written in past and present tense. By eliminating word repetition also, it would tighten up the text.

  • C Nakáte Okello

    I feel there is too much exposition

    Yellow_star-c09e82bff6cf53398cc23ca904d3855a Yellow_star-c09e82bff6cf53398cc23ca904d3855a Yellow_star-c09e82bff6cf53398cc23ca904d3855a Empty_star-e60c0e83933eadeb47c8849bb808f2e6 Empty_star-e60c0e83933eadeb47c8849bb808f2e6

    Hi I read the first few pages, and while i can tell you have a good story on your hands i feel it could be much improved by using the good old 'show, don't tell'. I feel it needs more dialogue to do the talking, especially in the beginning where you want to hook readers into reading the rest of your story. Also, when you do use dialogue, i feel you should tell us more about the characters movements, facial expressions, tone of voice etc. Adding some humour would be good too but that's just my personal opinion! Well done for having published a book though, much more than i have done at the moment!!

Average Book Rating

Yellow_star-c09e82bff6cf53398cc23ca904d3855a Yellow_star-c09e82bff6cf53398cc23ca904d3855a Yellow_star-c09e82bff6cf53398cc23ca904d3855a Empty_star-e60c0e83933eadeb47c8849bb808f2e6 Empty_star-e60c0e83933eadeb47c8849bb808f2e6